I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes, Long As I Got My Naan  Bread Jesus

So this guy in England saw this piece of naan at his local Indian joint and said "holy crap, there's JESUS!"

Funny, when I look at it, I see a cartoon cat. Or Charles Manson. But hey, to each their own.  

OK, NOW We Can Start Calling Them Winter Storms...Since we're officially ensconced in Winter. So snow is coming to Woodland Park this week whether we like it or not and the question on the brain in the first segment: will there be a white Christmas? As our old pal, the Magic 8-Ball would say: "Signs Point to YES!" A particularly well-dressed AJ dang near guaranteed it...

As Derek's Always Said: Dogs Are Bad News...

And this study from New Zealand (they have Universities and EVERYTHING) about sustainable living claims that dogs have a larger carbon footprint (pawprint) than your average SUV. Something reeks of fact manipulation, but depending on which side of the dog fence you fall, this can either be vindicating or poppycock. Derek even felt the need to call "Shenanigans" on the study while AJ dismissed it out of hand. You kids can come to your own conclusions...

When Snowballs Are Outlawed...

...Only outlaws will have snowballs. So really, if you drive through the midst of a large, organized snowball fight, you're probably going to take AT LEAST a couple snowballs to the windshield. One particular plain-clothes detective in DC took exception to this sort of thing, though, and emerged from his vehicle with his weapon drawn. AJ and Derek deemed this behavior to be "overzealous" and think that the detective could sure use a vacation. Or dismissal. Either one.

Dan McGowan Tells Funny Jokes On Stage...

AND joined Derek and AJ (mostly Derek) on the Big Program Tuesday to talk about that. Dan works completely clean (so much so that he performs regularly at churches), does a regular internet radio show of his own and has also worked with Stan Freberg. If you're interested in booking Dan to do a show, you can visit his website at www.danmcgowan.com. Here's a snippet of some of what Dan gets paid to do:

That's one tough reporter. I admire anyone who can take a shot like that and their first instinct is to finish the task at hand. Sounds like a Canadian. Hockey player, maybe?

While it's a movie that you COULD watch at any time of the year and still get a chuckle (fa ra ra ra ra), A Christmas Story is THE definitive American Holiday Classic of the last 30 years...Here's one of the best clips from said movie...Flick getting stuck to the pole:

AJ and Derek Elfed! Happy holidays from Tellernetcast.com's The Big Program!

S to the I to the M to the P

Here's a preview of what you'll hear on today's Fun Zone portion of the big program...I've got SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS!

SHIRT WARS - Cotton Vs. Polyester in a fight to the death

So AJ is a natural fiber kind of guy while Derek believes in "better living through science." AJ says his shirts have a nice, rustic look while Derek contends that his colors are richer and more vibrant. Who's shirt is more suave? you be the judge...First up, AJ:

I TRIPLE Dog Dare Ya...

OK, so it's a safe bet that MOST of us have seen the Christmas classic "A Christmas Story." As such, you've seen what happens to Flick when he sticks his tongue to the flagpole. Yes, you can't believe EVERYTHING you see on the silver screen but, when the temperature gets cold enough (like today), your tongue CAN stick to metal. This is what happened to a 10 year old boy in Boise Idaho recently. The fire department used warm water to release the tongue from the metal fence pole it was adhered to, no word on how many dog dares it took for this not-so-much-of-a-rocket-scientist young lad before he did the deed.

The Weather's So Cold, It's Frozen AJ's Anger!..

The "What Chaps Your Ass" segment of today's broadcast was marred somewhat by a marked lack of animosity toward anyone or anything in particular, beyond a mildly intense dislike of cigarette butts. And of littering in general. The hope is that, by Friday, all of the piss and vinegar that makes AJ AJ will be back in place and we'll have another wonderful misguided rant for your listening pleasure

Santa Took A U-Turn! Bust His Ass!

Is a no U-turn policy enforceable if there aren't any signs posted? That's the question to look into and answer on Friday's show...

17 Full Shopping Days 'til Christmas! GO NOW!

Or, take advantage of the Wootoff at woot.com and pick up trinkets and stocking stuffers at an alarming rate. Shopping online is easy and convenient, especially when you can pay less for stuff. Wootoff also happening until further notice at kids.woot.com, just so's you're all aware.

That Brendan Witt is a Bad Mother(Hush Yo' Mouth!)

on Tuesday, New York Islanders defenseman Brendan Witt was HIT BY AN SUV while crossing the street in Philadelphia. Witt careened across the hood of the car and landed in the street but quickly jumped up, dusted himself off and told the onlookers "it's ok, I'm a hockey player. No big deal." Witt then went on to log :17 in ice time in that night's game against the Flyers. Now THAT'S tough!

Yeah, You've Probably Seen it...BUT IT'S STILL COOL!

Christmas time is a fun time to listen to music and Trans-Siberian Orchestra makes some of the best Christmas music out there...One enterprising individual lit the crap out of his house and then choreographed the lights to the TSO song Wizards in Winter. Check out the video here:

if you missed the show live today, you can download it from the archives by clicking here.